2009年3月15日星期日

金瓶梅Ⅱ



未入場前,其實都明知是呃錢的電影,但鑑於看過上集覺得一定要看埋下集才心息的心態下,還是死死地氣送錢去了。

這一集,看得令人想爆粗拆戲院。片頭那段講西門慶和潘金蓮盪秋千,西明慶向潘金蓮擲提子(擲到那裡請自行想像),粒粒都中穴還要粒粒有高潮,咩事呢依家在泰國嗎?雖則OK 好笑但不用擲足十分鐘吧。

後來說到西門慶看中好友妻子李瓶兒,於是設計陷害好友,還要在好友面前誘姦李瓶兒。最爆笑的是,好友竟然好想加入3P 喎!最後,該是谷精上腦中風而死。

劇中新加入的春梅,由梁敏儀飾演。總覺得春梅在西門府格格不入,玩SM 時條條女都脫光光,硬是得春梅有塊布遮住三點,好礙眼。春梅本為西門家女僕,後來因冤枉武松入獄有功,被西門慶收為妾侍。啊,忘了要說說武松。話說當年武松來武大郎家作客時,有晚喝多了酒,昏睡了。於是潘金蓮便潛入武松房意圖不軌。我們一直看她脫武松的衫,無醒;舔他的胸膛,都無醒;直至坐蓮搖搖樂,都無醒!又咩事呢?劇情是如此交代的:隔天武松睡醒後發現和嫂子發生關係,自覺愧對大哥,於是奪門而出一去不返。是隔-天-睡-醒-後-喎!

OK,現在說回春梅。她先害死了李瓶兒,後來又下藥打算害死西門慶及其兩位老婆。她從神醫處拿到一瓶乜乜露(忘了名字,反正是春藥啦!),混合西門慶的乜乜丹(也忘了名字,反正是壯陽丸啦!),便會狂做三日三夜爆血而死。而結果,西門慶真的嗌晒救命地捉住潘金蓮,最後爆血攬住一齊死。爆血喎!即時謝晒。

與此同時,另一間房的大夫人被春梅下了春藥,在房間裡蠢蠢欲動。春梅便趁機著西門慶的手下,名叫竹杆的,進去慰藉大夫人。誰知沒多久竹杆便洩氣了,大夫人十分生氣,氣得把竹仔咬下來。最驚嚇的是,鏡頭看到一條血淋淋的肉腸仔和大夫人的血盤大口。後來大夫人心有不甘,拿起一碌棍最終自隊而死。

終於陷家死晒後,春梅出現在武大郎的墓前,再會武松,原來最初是武松派春梅混入西家府再夾埋做場苦肉計的,現在殺兄大仇終於得報。吖唓,咁咋吓話,套大龍鳳駛唔駛做到咁大呀!

18 則留言:

Derek 說...

預左唔好睇架啦...

揚眉女子 說...

係呀,不過唔睇唔心息.

匿名 說...

哈哈哈哈哈,呢出搞笑片來咖?! 笑死我啦!
救命~ ^^

匿名 說...

"但鑑於看過上集覺得一定要看埋下集才心息的心態下,還是死死地氣送錢去了。"
horrible, horrible decision, not only wasting money but your time as well. ha ha. I've this problem too and I don't win all the time! I am trying to avoid future Harry Potter's movies but I might well stuck in watching them, the "investment" has been too great. But I say, we watched those books already! Not like the movie will have different story-lines. I say "Save my money, Save my time!" ha ha.

"套大龍鳳駛唔駛做到咁大呀!", 錯字?
"套大胸脯駛唔駛做到咁大呀!"

揚眉女子 說...

catstyle,

唔係講笑, 真係笑到漂眼淚.
不過都係第一套好笑D.

加燦,

唔甘心, 一定要睇要呻笨既心息.

話時話, 演潘金蓮個架妹真係好假, 訓係度都仲警鐘咁.

Unknown 說...

B/F...
加燦 提到...
>> Ha ha, absolutely disagree.
Sure you are, cos we are not in the same boat & same level.
p.s. 你的留言 唔使又長又臭 ...
憎你唔知 話你唔好意思...
you talk like an old man

揚眉女子 說...

Good, please... 俾個面...

Unknown 說...

Good, please... 俾個面...

唔好意思

揚眉女子 說...

唔好咁客氣. 你俾面我, 我知架!

篤篤篤撐 說...

但係, 你講到好似好好睇gum wor....

揚眉女子 說...

篤篤篤撐,

好笑囉, 不過唔好睇架, D 劇情夾硬到想割蓆.

FlyingMinx 說...

搞到我都好想睇....btw,好多謝你的information many thanks...不過近日我workshop發生大災難, 回南天令到布料濕透有兩件corset發左"mo" 天亡我也~~~~~~

揚眉女子 說...

點會咁架!! 咁可憐!!

新鮮人 說...

哈哈哈~~~
男人睇III片唔會理劇情的!

揚眉女子 說...

之但係, 男既(個度)爆血, 女既咬竹, 仲點起呀?

揚眉女子 說...

Good, I have to say thanks from the bottom of my heart. It is not just because of your reminder, but also your kindness to me.

匿名 說...

"p.s. 你的留言 唔使又長又臭 ...
憎你唔知 話你唔好意思...
you talk like an old man"

Good:

I am an old man. May be you will be forever young.

If you don't like my comment, why can't you show some respect and simply skip my comment? Too much for you?


揚眉:

My comments are meant for you. Stopping is very easy.

揚眉, I can take insults but I don't enjoy them. And I can fight back if I need to but not here because it shows a complete disrespect to you as this is your blog.

Out of respect to you. I will stop commenting. Not that I am afraid of "Good" or anyone. But I see no point making your regular supporters angry at you. And the thought of fighting with them just piss me off.

Sorry 揚眉.

揚眉女子 說...

Sorry to bring you bad feeling in my blog, but i do hope you can continue your comment to me. Every comment you give me, I read it carefully, even it is long and recondite sometimes.

I know somehow Good is kinda direct in his/her words, but I believe he/she doesnt mean to be rude to everyone, but just a kind of expression, a kind of character. I hope you wont put it in mind.

Sorry again.