小時候看電視或聽長輩都時常說,做人很「化學」。年少不懂這個含意,現在明白了,但要闡釋,卻一點都形容不出傳神。
化學是,每天一起上學下課的書友仔,忽然不見了,看報紙得知原來昨晚在十九樓躍下來,喝了兩罐啤酒,跟鄰班的阿美鬧分手之後。化學是,每晚回家經過看到公園旁邊的阿伯,突然位置空了,原來早上肚子痛,召了白車送去急症室,醫生說得了末期肝癌,要留在深切病房情況危殆。化學是,幾個男孩子柴娃娃地為兄弟出頭,你拿士把拿我拿鐵通,浩浩蕩蕩地兩群人意見不合就手起刀落,躺下的流血不止,站著的,翌日被扣到覊留所,上庭認罪,再翌日,監房,十八年。
化學是,昨晚臨睡前還明明口口聲聲說你愛我,我愛你,然後一覺醒來,沒有原因的,我們不能再相愛了。沒有原因的,那怕是靈光一閃或頓悟真理都好,總之別問我為甚麼,不能相愛就是不能相愛了。於是,我們分手吧。
化學,就是這樣子。
2010年4月18日星期日
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it's me, i need to say, i still love him. very much.
but love can't solve all the problems. that's it.
It seems that you have been feeling a bit sad and down recently because of your observations of some real life situations. Life sometimes is full of mysteries, unpredictablity and paradoxes, isn't it? I guess I was fairly being bothered and even tortured by the dark side of life over the past so many years. And I always wanted to play the role as a savior (motivated by great mother complex) to fix others' problems. Of course, I failed. I readjusted my perspective a few years ago and chose to look at the bright side of life more frequently. I have been feeling a bit happier since then. Anyway, I choose to have a good laugh from time to time even after attending the funerals of my patients. Maybe s/he just wants to remind me to grasp every opportunity to live a good and enriching life by her/his death. Life is really too short and time passes us by quickly. It kind of works for me :)
I wish you good health and happiness.
Cheers
BbBb
匿名,
Sure, I understand.
BbBb,
Don't worry, just a sad feeling after heading a news from my friend. You are really a kind person! Are you a doctor? If yes, you are a really good doctor.
I'm a social worker providing counseling services in a medical setting that needs to help people face a lot of death and dying. I behave kindly most of the time but I am not really a kind person all the time. (I'm sort of hyprocritical.) Actually, I can be quite crabby, moody and even aggressive when I am not playing the role as a professional. I was once being criticized (yelled at) by one of my family members why I was always so kind and nice to my patients/clients but I was so rude and blunt to them sometimes. Honestly, I have to confess I am just a human being with seven deadly sins. It so happens that I need to be nice and kind in the workplace. I guess our professional selves are quite different from our real selves. It's the real fact, isn't it?
BbBb
BbBb,
I am a two-sided person as well, here is no contradiction even ones have 2 different nature- It is just because people are not understanding at all.
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